Make Your Own Decisions

Every day we make hundreds of choices.  We decide to sleep in, have eggs or cereal for breakfast and what we will wear.  We drive to work and take our time or push the speed limit.  Maybe at work we’ll push harder or slow down and be more methodical in our tasks.  Some of these choices are conscious decisions… others we do without thinking.  We are amazing beings with the capacity to lead our lives automatically.

Just like any other animal on this planet we have instincts.   In our case however it is the rare person who follows their instincts. One of the characteristics that set us apart from our animal friends is that we have the capacity to question our actions.   It is in second-guessing our instincts that we have lost the ability to trust ourselves.

How many times have you said to yourself, “I knew that I should (or shouldn’t) have?”  If we’d only followed our instincts we’d be in a better place.

Hindsight is however 20/20 and what is important is what have we learned from this experience.  In most cases we repeat the same mistakes and ignore our gut feelings. 

Learning to trust yourself is a key step in achieving your dreams.  You cannot delegate your happiness, your life, and your future to anyone else’s decision-making skills.  No matter how close you may be, they are not responsible for your life, only you are.

If you need to build confidence in yourself and trusting your instincts try this Simple Step and start believing in you!

• Choose something that you need to make a decision about.  Start small.  This is about building up your self-assurance.

• Get absolutely clear about the decision that you need to make.  For example, “I need to decide whether to drive to Portland or fly.”  Notice that this is a very specific question.  It’s not about should you go at all but rather how you are going to travel.   If there is not clarity around the decision that you need to make then you are not ready to make a decision.

• Once you know the exact question state it out loud or in your head.  Repeat.

• Now sit quietly and notice what the first thing that comes to mind is.  Write it down.  Using our example if “Drive” pops into your head then make the decision to drive and start making your plans. 

As you gain confidence in trusting your instincts you begin seeing how you are the best person to trust your life to and that feels great!



TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS - A PERSONAL EXAMPLE

Yesterday you read about Simple Step #2 – Have a Conversation with Yourself.  Did you try it?  Or do you already trust your instincts above the words or opinions of everyone else?  Honestly?  

I was raised to listen to my “elders.”  After all they had been through life longer than I had so they must know more. 

This world is spinning faster and what my elders know is from a time period that didn’t have the internet, cell phones, pre-marital sex, “mean girls” or even choices in their careers.  How could they possibly know what the current generations deal with?

That is where “Have a Conversation with Yourself” comes into play. 

Abraham-Hicks refers to it as the “emotional guidance system.”  (And their book on the “The Astonishing Power of Emotions” is a good one!)  Other experts refer to it as your internal GPS.  Whatever you call it that little voice inside your head or the feeling in your gut is the one that YOU need to listen to.

Here is an example.  I have been contemplating a job with my old company.  They have not made an offer to me and in fact we were just in the initial interview process.  The job is everything that I know that I can do…and do well.  The money is good… The  manager that I would report to is a genuinely good person who knows her business better than anyone I have ever met.  So there are lots of good reasons to want to pursue this position.  My prior position was in the same department working in a very stressful environment and in many ways cutthroat.  But hey…I’d done it before. 

In the pit of my stomach though was a large knot.  When I sat quietly and asked the question as to whether I should pursue the position the words that came to me were, “You don’t want to go back into that environment.  You have come too far to go back.”   I’m listening to myself on this one. 

I have to laugh at myself here.  The last position, albeit temporary, that I accepted I knew that I shouldn’t take.  Red flags and warning bells went off in my head every day.  I took it because the money was good and it was a title that I had never achieved.  Two month’s later I felt like I had survived the worst work experience of my life.  I should have listened to myself!    So when I tell you that I am listening to myself now… I have learned the hard way.  We all have to go through those experiences to get to the point of trusting our instincts.

If you haven’t tried this Simple Step yet…test it out on your next decision.  Start small if you feel comfortable and build from there. 

Once you gain confidence in yourself you master this foundational principle of “Trust Your Instincts.”  And that…my friends feels really great!