Feel It...

Feel It by SIMPLE STEPS

Are you losing your home in foreclosure or bankruptcy?  Did your best friend just pull the rug out from underneath you and you're sitting there in shock?  Are you in the worst shape of your life and are just angry with yourself?

Are you suppressing all those feelings because you know you "should" be tough?  Are you afraid if you express how you really feel... to yourself or to another... that somehow you'll lose control or worse, lose respect? 

Unless you allow yourself to work through the feelings you have they are going to eat away at you.  You may have them buried deep inside yourself but they are going to come out... and not in ways that you want.  You may feel physically sick, or know that you are approaching your stress limit or maybe you just blew up at someone because they were there.  Are those places you really want to find yourself? 

When you choose instead to allow yourself to feel the full force of your emotions... to let them out... you give yourself the right to move past them.  And that is your right... just as feeling what you feel is your right.  No one gets to tell you how you should feel. 

Telling yourself how you "should" feel doesn't help either.  Instead just allow yourself to scream, cry, vent your frustration, or whatever you need to do.  The key is to do so in an environment where you feel safe.  You may be mad at your boss but that doesn't mean you have to stand in the middle of the department and yell at him.  There are conference rooms for that... or the comfort of your own home where you can share with a friend or family member who can help you work through it. 

When you have let it all out... breathe...  take stock of where you are and then decide where you want to be next.  Whatever happened that effected you so deeply is now part of your past.  Re-living it keeps you in it... choosing to move forward takes you to a better place... a place where you are affirmatively choosing to be happy.  And that too is your right! 

Forgive to Live....

I have a dear old friend who's husband betrayed her a decade ago.  She stayed with him because of the kids. Her last child left home this year and the nest is empty. 

Now that she has all this free time on her hands she is spending her time reliving the pain of the past.  With no one left at home to impact by the arguments she continues to cut open the old wound almost daily. 

She has lived with her anger all these years.  She feels justified in her anger and unfortunately can't see that holding this over her husband's head is doing nothing but making her miserable. 

Do you have something in your past that continues to eat at you?  Are you tired of being miserable but forgiving just isn't any easy thing for you to do? 

The act of forgiving another releases you from your pain.  The person you are forgiving may not know or even think that they need to be forgiven.  And it doesn't matter what they think.  It's about letting go of your pain. 

Try these Simple Steps when you are ready to move forward with your life:

• Decide that being happy means more to you than being right and miserable. Say out loud that you are are forgiving this person for hurting you.   This is the simple part.
• Each and every time a negative thought comes to you about the past stop it in it's tracks. Say, "NO!  I am not going there."  or  "NO!  I am not going to let negativity back into my life." 
• Replace the negative thought with the new positive one. "I've learned so much from my experience and I know what is important to me now."  Or perhaps, "I am focusing on my own happiness." Whatever positive statement that you choose leave out any specific information about the past incident. You are letting it go.

When you make the decision to forgive and take a Simple Step forward you are choosing to be happy and that feels great!