Unlimiting Yourself - Part II

Listen to today's audio blog here.

If there are no limits then why do we feel limited? While most people are excited with the possibility that their lives are limitless... in the next thought it's like "yes, but, it's not all that easy."  That is followed by a litany of reasons why what is a simple concept becomes a challenging issue.

We place limitations on ourselves.  Sure as children our parents may have given us rules... but we're not children needing protection any more.  We do have to work within the policies of employers, the law and government.  But that is not what we are talking about here.  We are talking about the lack of limits on our ability to be happy.

What someone else does or says doesn't limit us.  Where we live, what we do or do not "have" doesn't limit us.  We are not limited because of money, time or perceived ability.  If you are like me just a few years back I was responding to this comment with something along the line of "that all sounds nice but how do you expect me to pay the bills?  I have to feed my family so I don't have time to enjoy life, I have to work."

Even in the most dire of circumstances we can choose to be  happy... if we want to.  The limits that we place on ourselves are because we've don't know how to think otherwise.  If you are looking to unlimit yourself try one of these Simple Steps:

•  Do without something that has become ingrained in your day to day existence.  Pick something to eliminate that won't effect anyone else.  Start small and build up.   Perhaps it is going without your morning Starbucks and making  your own coffee, taking mass transit or walking rather than driving your car, doing without a bi-weekly manicure and doing it yourself.  You'll realize after a while that you didn't "have" to have it all along.  You have just removed a "limit" in your life!

• If there is something that you truly want to do in life, but can't see how you can, then try exploring alternatives.  These could be obvious options that you just didn't want to consider or something totally outrageous that you're not sure that you have the nerve to do.  For example we have many new Facebook pages that want to draw more friends to their site.  FB advertising is extremely expensive so if they have no funds to purchase an ad they may think that growing their page is an impossible task.  However by sharing posts with other pages, asking for help from friends, developing a presence on other social media sites they can grow their pages too.  Sure it might not happen as fast as it would with an ad... but then this is a journey not a race.  This is a Simple Step where you not only look outside the box but you get rid of it altogether. 

Just because in your current circumstances you aren't where you want to be doesn't mean you can't get there.  If you truly want something you'll find a way! It will require you to break down old barriers and eliminate beliefs that don't serve you.  It's all up to you to decide how important what you want is to your happiness.  It's your choice and making it feels great!

 

Seek Happiness from Within

How many times have we said something like, "I'll be so happy when..."  For me it was, "I'll be happy when we are living back in the Pacific Northwest."  Of course for me that means that I have to sell my home and move a couple thousand miles.  It does require that our house be listed for sale and that we have a place to go when we get there.  None of those parts of the puzzle are in place. 

So should this mean that I'm going to be miserable until I get to where I want to live?  If I am then it is a choice that I make.  And I can tell you I'm not going to make that choice! 

When we look to external factors for our happiness, from the things we have to the people in our lives, we are sorely disappointed.  No amount of stuff is ever going to be enough and the only person who can make me happy is me!  

Relying on other people, conditions or things means that we don't feel that we are responsible for our own happiness.  When we feel this way then we have a "victim" mentality where we believe that since we aren't responsible for our own happiness then we can't do anything to change it.

In reality we are THE only one responsible for our happiness.  Even in the most dire of circumstances we get to choose how we react. 

In Simple Steps... Real Change, The Book I wrote about Campbell who went from a gifted athlete to being paralyzed in a tragic accident with a drunk driver.  Everything that she held dear in her young life was gone in an instant.  Rather than focus on being a victim she chose to use her experience to help other children dealing with similar situation.  She chose to be happy.   

When we stay stuck in our misery something else happens...  All of our friends & family who do their best to help us feel helpless.  If we aren't willing to help ourselves then there really is nothing that they can do.  It's painful for them to watch us deteriorate.  For those who have tried for a long time to help us and we resist their suggestions and efforts then they may give up...and in some cases lose patience.  We may even feel that they don't understand.  Maybe they don't...but then neither do we because our choosing to be miserable. 

If you can see yourself in any of what I have written then know that you are not alone.  I've been there too.  Here are some of the Simple Steps that helped me come back into the light:

• "Simple Steps... Real Change, the Book" - Download it for free.  It's a short read. You can read it in an hour or two.  There are several tailored Simple Steps complete with worksheets where you can practice the shift in perspective that helps you to see more positivity.

• Seek Professional Help - If you are depressed or feel like you don't want to try then you need expert help. Oftentimes we think that we cannot afford to see a doctor or counselor.  Every county has free resources.  Seek them out.  Go to your church and ask for help from your clergy.  Organizations for seniors, military, disabilities and others all have great websites and resources.  Research them on the Internet. 

• Support Groups - Positive focused websites and pages are added every day.  Look for the one that has similar direction as you are seeking. 

• Recommended Reading - I have posted a list of books that I have read and relied on for inspiration and ideas.  Check them out at your local library or Half Priced Bookstores. 

Do not put your life on hold.  The time to be happy is now!  The time to take charge of your happiness is NOW!  When you do you'll feel in control.  And that Simple Step feels better!