Trying Too Hard?

TryingTooHard by SimpleStepsRealChange.com

There was a time in my life that I'd jump through hoops to make someone else happy.  It may have been a boss, my parents, a teacher and even my sister.  No matter what I did... for some people... nothing was good enough.  That didn't matter though... I kept on trying. 

It took me many years to realize that I could never make someone else happy.  In most cases they just wanted life to go their way. True happiness can only come from within and each person has their own definition of what brings them joy.    

If you find yourself trying too hard to please another it's time take the time to assess your true motivation.  From there you can determine whether you need to change direction.  Here is a Simple Step to help you make that determination. 

Ask youself the all important question:  Who is going to benefit from your actions?   

• If it's not you but rather your company, boss, family or others ask youself if you are the best person to do the job. If not then it's time to have a good conversation with the person you are trying to please.

• If everyone involved is going to benefit then consider who else should be working to accomplish the goal.  Create a team and allow others to share in the adventure.  You don't need to take it all on yourself. 

There may be those circumstances, such as a requirement for a job, where you don't feel that you have a choice. It's up to you to determine if you need to power through the task or consider finding a different job that utilizes your strengths better.

If you realize that you are the sole beneficiary and you still feel like you're trying too hard and getting nowhere then stop what you are doing.  Give yourself a break and consider other options. That may include asking for help or doing it differently. Or maybe you just need a break.  If it is something that is important to you... you will find a way.

With a little time to think through what you are doing you'll realize your true motivation.  And it is in that knowledge you can decide what's important to you. It's your choice.

Growing from the challenge

Mom was going through some very old papers today and came across a paper written by my Grandmother, Mary McNeice in 1918.  She was my Dad's mom and was not someone that I knew very well.  

One particular passage that she wrote struck a chord with me.  The message is as clear today as it was nearly 100 years ago.  She noted that the kite won't fly in a dead calm nor will it fly with the wind.  She goes on to say that,

"The mind, in order to grow, must find a field for itself in which to gain strength by overcoming all obstacles."   

Almost a century later the message is unchanged...  We grow through adversity.  In our stresses and challenges there are lessons.  When we learn the lesson we are better prepared for the next leg of our life's journey... or for our next flight.

There isn't a single person who hasn't had to deal with some type of adversity.  We "struggle" or we "fight to overcome" these challenges when if we use them as a lesson we grow into the person that we are meant to be. 

Today's Simple Step:

• Stop struggling with the challenges in  your life.  Allow yourself to be an observer rather than a participant.  In this role what do you notice?  What would you advise your best friend if it was them experiencing the challenge rather than you.  Learn the lesson. 

When  you allow the experience to wash over you and you absorb what it teaches you.. You are wise and better prepared for the next leg of your life's journey...  and that feels good!