Don't Let "Should" Be the Reason...

How often do you find yourself wondering if this is all there is to life... yet not knowing what to do about it?  Are you ready to make a change yet don't know how to... let alone what to do?   This is a common thread that I hear from so many people.  I know that I have been there too.

There are a couple of things that come to mind when I hear these concerns. 

First, there is more to life than how you are living right now.  If you are happy with "what is" though you have no reason, let alone motivation, to make a change... so don't think that you have to.  If however you are not where you want to be don't think that you have to make a change for the sake of changing.  Wait until you can make a deliberate change...  the one that means you pursue your dreams, aspirations or happiness.

Second, realize that you have to truly want to make a specific change in order for it to be successful.  For example if everyone tells you that you should change your looks, find a new job or partner, or anything else... if you don't want to do those things you're never going to be committed to that action.  If you're not... any roadblock, naysayer or negative experience is going to derail your progress.  You may perceive that as a failure which feels even worse than before you started.   It is not a failure though!   It just wasn't the right thing for you to do... 

"Don't "should" all over yourself" - Pam Thomas, Internal Beauty Boot Camp

Remember that when something is important enough to you... you'll do it.  Until then spend your time and effort doing what makes you happy.  Drop the "shoulds" and wait for the "absolutely want to" that calls you from every fiber of your being.  That's when it's your time to make a change.

Do you truly want to change?

When I started Simple Steps... Real Change my focus was on helping others to take a Simple Step forward in life.  It is when we move forward that we achieve our dreams.  Today I'd like to take the time to talk about the second part of this process... Real Change.

Change is inevitable in life and it's better to learn to surf the waves of change then to let yourself be pulled under by the current. 

The key is that you have to want to surf.  Every Simple Step that I share is meaningless if you don't want to move forward in your life.

It is important to recognize that there is a difference between not wanting to be like you are now and true desire to change.  One focuses on what you don't want...the other on what you do.  If you believe in the Law of Attraction then you understand that what you focus on is what you receive more of.

Here is an example from my own life.  I use to be stick thin.  As I've aged I've gained weight.  I've been on every diet and weight loss program because I didn't want to be overweight (negative focus).  It was however not until my desire to change was driven by wanting to be healthy and in shape (positive focus) that I experienced progress. 

Today's Simple Step is to assess your focus on change:

• Identify what you want to change. (Lose weight, get a new job, relationship etc)
• List out all of the reasons that you want to change.
• For the reasons that have a negative focus restate the desire into a positive statement.  For example change "I hate my job and want to get out of this place" to "I want to do work that is more fulfilling and uses my experience to help others."
• Every time you find yourself thinking about what you don't want shift to your positive desire. 

When you are truly ready to change your life and focus on the positive aspects of your desire then your life changes for the better...and that feels good!