A Different Take on Beliefs

We talk so often about if you believe then you can achieve... whatever it is that you focus on.  That is the classic Law of Attraction. That is the power of positivity.  Oftentimes it seems trite or a hollow phrase used by gurus to get us motivated.

What if though we use what is happening in our lives right now to prove this concept rather than dimissing it as a catch phrase of the positivity people.  This is a Simple Step all by itself.

Right now ask yourself what you believe... truly believe?

• Do you believe that it's dog eat dog world?
• Do you believe that you'll always struggle?
• Do you believe that you'll never find love?
• Do you believe that you can't do something?

Take whatever your believe and connect it to where you are right now.  Here's a couple of example from my own life. 

• I always believed that I'd be poor.   I paid constant attention to money.  I would download my bank account and check on my credit card statements daily.  I'd obsess about every penny, even when I had a big job, the big salary and by all outward appearances was well off.  My focus was on the lack... on the belief that if I didn't watch every transaction, every dollar that I'd be poor.  Guess what.  I lost it all... my job, my income, my savings and my investments...  and had nothing left to lose.  I achieved what I believed.

• For years I've believed that I could never lose weight.  If I didn't diet or exercise that I'd never be healthy let alone fit into the clothes that I wanted to wear.  My focus was on what I didn't think that I could do and as long as it was... I couldn't be healthy or in shape. 

I've proved to myself that what I believe I achieved.  Unfortunately everything that I believed was exactly the opposite of what I wanted. 

How are you living your beliefs?  What areas of your life are you not happy with?  Examine what you believe and decide if it's working for you or not.  It wasn't for me. 

We are the only ones who can change our beliefs to support what we want in life.  If you are at the point where what you are doing doesn't work for you... it's time to live as you choose... with better serving beliefs, by design... yours.  Is it Simple, yes!  Is it easy... probably not... but if you want it more than anything it's worth the effort. 

It's time... do it for you!

Emotions, Beliefs and Lessons Learned

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Every experience has the opportunity to be good or bad.  In some cases it may be both.  The key is how we deal with it that makes it a positive experience.  Positive doesn't mean that we don't experience pain. It means that we use the pain to propel us forward in life.

The death of my father was unexpected and left me as the main caregiver for my mom, who is sight impaired.  I had become close to my dad when he and mom moved into a home adjacent to ours.  Losing him was a shock and not one any of us where prepared for.  On the surface there is nothing about that experience that was good.  However digging deeper and the passage of time showed me a different perspective.  Mom became more independent and overall happier because she regain confidence that she'd lost being taken care of by dad.  I developed a better relationship with my mom and now as she nears 83 she know that whatever happens in the rest of her life that I will be there for her. All of those changes are very positive. 

It takes time to work the stressful events in life.  We can't sweep them under the rug and expect them to stay there.  Instead all that stuff builds up and comes out in ways that we'd never intended... anger, illness, depression... We need to travel the path and overcome the obstacles.  When we do we're better prepared to deal with what may come at us in the future.

Try these Simple Steps when you find yourself lost in life's potholes:

• Allow yourself to totally feel every aspect of the experience.  Whether that is grief, anger, jealousy, embarrassment...  Feel those emotions.  When you relax into whatever you are feeling rather than resisting it... it loses the power to hurt you.  One note... Some emotions may be better handled in private... that is your choice too. 

• Dig down into the emotion that you are feeling and ask yourself why you feel that way.  For example if you are angry at your boss for not promoting you determine if those feelings come from your belief that you were the best candidate or because you thought she was your friend and would be your advocate.  When you can identify the belief that is at the crux of that emotion you can determine if your belief is truly valid.

• Validate or invalidate your beliefs. Just because you believe a certain way doesn't mean that the belief is valid.  For example if you were raised to believe if you work hard enough that you would succeed and then don't you will be devastated when overlooked for a promotion.  If however in your experience hard work is only one component of being promoted then the belief you were raised with is not valid.  That's a conflict that needs reconciled.  Your new belief may become that hard work, being a team player and taking on special projects are necessary to advance in your company.  Looking back at the promotion that you didn't receive you'll know then what you need to do to be better positioned for the next position.  

In allowing ourselves to feel what is bothering us we are better able to deal with the emotions and move forward.  Not only to we gain strength by overcoming the challenge but we learn from it.  In that lesson we also get to decide if what we believe works for us or not.  And in the end it is all about our happiness!